Little Angry DollMummy The Failed Romance Writer
September 25th 2006 15:27
Once upon a time, there was an impoverished Uni student, who tried writing romance for profit. Sadly, she was silly.
“Brittney Courtney Thingy–Ohm-Lau stood at the grave of her semi half step mother. Her innocent tears gave way to a flood of awakening. Standing beside her was the man she loved, the man she loathed…the man she wanted…”
With my hat off to K.L.Almeroth (http://www.orble.com/kl-almeroth/), writing Romance with a capital “R” isn’t as easy as it reads.
There are two kinds of Romance out there. The serious and the silly. Have you ever read a Mills & Boon? It’s kinda like inviting a 13 year old shut in to host a “My Little Pony” party in your brain. And remember, you’re her only friend.
M & B provide would-be romance writers with guidelines to help them on their way, with a brief summary of how to build a good story, tips on heroines, examples of successful plots, theme options, notes on peripheral characters and what makes a great love interest.
Even armed with this information, I couldn’t write Romance. First encounters with love interests soon degenerated into hard core porn. So did first encounters with peripherals. My heroine was so boring I wanted to give her heroin, if only to get her to have sex with peripherals. Sometimes with My Little Pony. I just couldn’t take it seriously.
But serious writers of Romance can produce beautiful stories. Take Jane Austen. Social commenter, yes. Wordsmith, certainly. The ultimate Romance writer – without a doubt. Her first master wasn’t one in an underground S&M den. It was Romance, a subject she took seriously.
For silly Romance, have a look at how three of her successors interpreted Romance as an agent for Passion – the Bronte sisters. Don’t you secretly feel that Emily Bronte’s Heathcliff and Catherine got up to a lot more on the moor? His cruelty, her strange sub/dom routine? The Bronte’s were an odd trio. Charlotte Bronte was openly critical of Jane Austen’s confined characters in what she saw as a controlled, manicured world. Meanwhile, her most loved character, little Jane Eyre, was subject to all sorts of lovingly controlled abusive mind games from Rochester, not to mention the torments of an emotional and dietary starved upbringing. Anne’s two novels were just as bleak. All too melodramatic, reeking of M&B, just with more adjectives and flapping about outside in the wind at midnight. All a bit silly really. Very well written, but silly. Best left in Monty Python Semaphore…
Perhaps a deeper appreciation of mature romance is why Austen is enjoying more popularity than ever, while Wuthering Heights is nowadays left in the realm of the adolescent reader. Perhaps we like Austen more because her characters knew when they were being silly
“Brittney Courtney Thingy–Ohm-Lau stood at the grave of her semi half step mother. Her innocent tears gave way to a flood of awakening. Standing beside her was the man she loved, the man she loathed…the man she wanted…”
With my hat off to K.L.Almeroth (http://www.orble.com/kl-almeroth/), writing Romance with a capital “R” isn’t as easy as it reads.
There are two kinds of Romance out there. The serious and the silly. Have you ever read a Mills & Boon? It’s kinda like inviting a 13 year old shut in to host a “My Little Pony” party in your brain. And remember, you’re her only friend.
M & B provide would-be romance writers with guidelines to help them on their way, with a brief summary of how to build a good story, tips on heroines, examples of successful plots, theme options, notes on peripheral characters and what makes a great love interest.
Even armed with this information, I couldn’t write Romance. First encounters with love interests soon degenerated into hard core porn. So did first encounters with peripherals. My heroine was so boring I wanted to give her heroin, if only to get her to have sex with peripherals. Sometimes with My Little Pony. I just couldn’t take it seriously.
But serious writers of Romance can produce beautiful stories. Take Jane Austen. Social commenter, yes. Wordsmith, certainly. The ultimate Romance writer – without a doubt. Her first master wasn’t one in an underground S&M den. It was Romance, a subject she took seriously.
For silly Romance, have a look at how three of her successors interpreted Romance as an agent for Passion – the Bronte sisters. Don’t you secretly feel that Emily Bronte’s Heathcliff and Catherine got up to a lot more on the moor? His cruelty, her strange sub/dom routine? The Bronte’s were an odd trio. Charlotte Bronte was openly critical of Jane Austen’s confined characters in what she saw as a controlled, manicured world. Meanwhile, her most loved character, little Jane Eyre, was subject to all sorts of lovingly controlled abusive mind games from Rochester, not to mention the torments of an emotional and dietary starved upbringing. Anne’s two novels were just as bleak. All too melodramatic, reeking of M&B, just with more adjectives and flapping about outside in the wind at midnight. All a bit silly really. Very well written, but silly. Best left in Monty Python Semaphore…
Perhaps a deeper appreciation of mature romance is why Austen is enjoying more popularity than ever, while Wuthering Heights is nowadays left in the realm of the adolescent reader. Perhaps we like Austen more because her characters knew when they were being silly
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Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Sorry its taken me so long to get here...
Loved it...perhaps because I love seeing my name in there??? No, seriously, I loved it...
Have you ever read any Nora Roberts? She was, at least in 2004, if I can remember correctly, the highest earning romance writer...I love her work...
I hear you (sister) with the Mills and Boon...I spent 3 months, slogging away each night, to write their 55,000 word count (must be no more than that! Who comes up with this crap?), to be rejected about 8 months later... actually, first I got a letter saying a water pipe burst in their office, and destroyed my work, and could I please send it again? May use this in a future post...it was really a very funny letter.
So, yes, if this is how we're going to deem failure, I'm a failed romance writer, too.
And, actually, I quite liked the book, even if it was written to rules and standards...
And don't knock hard core porn scenes in writing! There's definately a place for it...and M&B apparantly like some of their lines with some erotica...
Maybe try your hand at this...I hate thinking you've given up on romance writing...
And last, but not least, have you tried the Romance Writers of Australia? If you want to try romance again, they've got all the insider knowledge on what lines want what, and what publishing houses are after what...
K.L.
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
And I'm glad you didn't mind me referencing your blog - though I probably should have asked first.
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
No worries...love to see my name in print!!
2 kids under four...I can only imagine. Having one is busy enough for me!
Yes, your few posts a week are enough to keep you busy, let alone anything else! Its hard, trying to do it all!
K.L.