Little Angry DollThat’s It, I’m Ringing The Robot Santa! Or Why I Love Futurama.
November 8th 2006 04:21
If you’ve stopped by my blog, you’ll know that I am a Bad Mother. I’m underachieving. I lie to my child. I let him stay up late. I will sit him down in front of his favourite computer games just to get some peace. When I need to talk on the phone, I paralyse him but putting Pixar on.
Worst of all, his hero is Bender. Go Bender Go Bender – he dances. We love Futurama. It’s our very favourite. Number One Son knows every episode from the first frame, but there are two episodes he is scared of and we skip through – the ones that feature the Futurama Santa.
In the Futurama world, year 3000, Santa is a robot. He lives in his Ice Fortress on Neptune, using the Neptunian’s as his slave labour. The Robot Santa was programmed with a too high “good” expectations, so everyone (except Zoidberg) is deemed naughty. Complete with paradox absorbing crumple zones, to counter his own otherwise “naughty” behaviour, the robot Santa goes on a killing rampage every X-mas Eve.
And this scares the (ahem) bejesus out of Number One Son.
So in our house there is the Good Santa and the Bad Robot Santa.
And we place calls with them both.
“Hello, Good Santa. Yes, this is NOS’s mum (pause). Yes Santa, I’m fine, thank you for asking. I’m just calling to let you know that NOS has been a very good boy today. He ate all his dinner, turned the computer off when I asked and sang a song to his baby brother. Yes, Santa. You can give NOS a Gold Star. Thank you.”
He is usually a good child. He is patient when I am busy with his baby brother, Mr Goo, and entertains him a great deal with silly songs, dances and kisses. He knows when it’s time to go to bed and he picks flowers for me (Oh, darling, that’s very nice. Thank you for treading on the gardenias!)… from my pathetic garden.
But like most children, sometimes NOS is naughty. Very naughty. He’s 3 & ½ and for him pushing boundaries is a daring game. Thrilling yet dangerous. He tries to get away with jumping on his bed. He has tantrums when he is tired. He once claimed to “be deading” (dying) when asked to pick up his toys. For minor offences and misdemeanours, he gets sent to the Quiet Spot. Unfortunately, the Quiet Spot is no use in public and NOS worked that one out very early on. So when his behaves badly in public, I pull out my mobile.
“Right, that’s it… I’m telling the Bad Robot Santa!”
NOS is immediately apologising and promising to be good.
I haven’t managed to get through to The Bad Robot Santa yet. Just the words are enough to ensure good behaviour, at least until X-mas.
Image from Wikipedia
Worst of all, his hero is Bender. Go Bender Go Bender – he dances. We love Futurama. It’s our very favourite. Number One Son knows every episode from the first frame, but there are two episodes he is scared of and we skip through – the ones that feature the Futurama Santa.
In the Futurama world, year 3000, Santa is a robot. He lives in his Ice Fortress on Neptune, using the Neptunian’s as his slave labour. The Robot Santa was programmed with a too high “good” expectations, so everyone (except Zoidberg) is deemed naughty. Complete with paradox absorbing crumple zones, to counter his own otherwise “naughty” behaviour, the robot Santa goes on a killing rampage every X-mas Eve.
Santabot
And this scares the (ahem) bejesus out of Number One Son.
So in our house there is the Good Santa and the Bad Robot Santa.
And we place calls with them both.
“Hello, Good Santa. Yes, this is NOS’s mum (pause). Yes Santa, I’m fine, thank you for asking. I’m just calling to let you know that NOS has been a very good boy today. He ate all his dinner, turned the computer off when I asked and sang a song to his baby brother. Yes, Santa. You can give NOS a Gold Star. Thank you.”
He is usually a good child. He is patient when I am busy with his baby brother, Mr Goo, and entertains him a great deal with silly songs, dances and kisses. He knows when it’s time to go to bed and he picks flowers for me (Oh, darling, that’s very nice. Thank you for treading on the gardenias!)… from my pathetic garden.
But like most children, sometimes NOS is naughty. Very naughty. He’s 3 & ½ and for him pushing boundaries is a daring game. Thrilling yet dangerous. He tries to get away with jumping on his bed. He has tantrums when he is tired. He once claimed to “be deading” (dying) when asked to pick up his toys. For minor offences and misdemeanours, he gets sent to the Quiet Spot. Unfortunately, the Quiet Spot is no use in public and NOS worked that one out very early on. So when his behaves badly in public, I pull out my mobile.
“Right, that’s it… I’m telling the Bad Robot Santa!”
NOS is immediately apologising and promising to be good.
I haven’t managed to get through to The Bad Robot Santa yet. Just the words are enough to ensure good behaviour, at least until X-mas.
Image from Wikipedia
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Comment by JoshZ
Yes Bender is great, Bender is great.
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Inner West Life
"We love you Bender"
Bender - "Shut up babies, I know it!!!"
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by JoshZ
Leila cracks corn, and I don't care,
Bender cracks corn, cause he is great!
Heh, stupid corn.
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Inner West Life
Comment by Sandi
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Inner West Life
"Go,go, go, go
Team, team, team."
Up there with
"What do we want?
Fry's dog!
When do we want it?
Fry's Dog!"
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Yes Go Bender! My [big] kids all love him too... especially the big one I married!
Great Post...
L
Comment by Nina
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Inner West Life
Comment by Damo
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Inner West Life
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Inner West Life
Bender, after listening to Fry:-
"Interesting. No, the other one. Tedious."
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Not that I like either of those shows mind you.
I'd go a bit careful on scaring the little tyke like that LAD. I myself am a very big frady cat from seeing lots of horror movies from when I was young...
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Inner West Life
You should know that if I really wanted to scare the boy, I'd give him free access to the net.
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Inner West Life
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Inner West Life
Comment by jimiffondu
A friend of mine uses The Dinosaurs In The Cupboard to similar effect, but Bad Robot Santa is simply genius - especially with the reinforcement of telling the Good Santa when NOS has been a Good Boy...
What's the fun of having children if you can't emotionally scar them?