Little Angry DollFacial Similarities - Do We Favour a Child Who Looks Like Us?
October 3rd 2006 06:22
A popular theory, that we are more attracted to people with similar facial characteristics, has started me thinking. How does facial similarity affect the affection we give our children? Are we subconsciously more likely to favour one child over another because they look more like us? Or, alternately, are we more likely to favour the child who looks like our partner because we see our partner in them?
I have two children. Both of them are boys but there is a general consensus that one of them looks incredibly like me. Not “just like” me. The resemblance goes beyond striking. It’s usually the first thing people comment on, and repeat all the time. Strangers stop us in the street. My other child looks more like me than his father, but there is still a combination there. Say 70-30. Will I inadvertently favour the child who looks more like me?
Evelyn Waugh once said “The pretty can get away with anything…”. So, if we are attracted to people who look more like us, do I precieve the child that looks more like me as more pretty? And if so, will I let him get away with more? And now I have to ask myself if I introduced the similar looking child into the previous paragraph first because he looks more like me, or was it just the flow of the writing? Am I already promoting him over my other child?
And what of children who look like our partners? Do we melt when they assume the same facial expressions? Do we want to please them more? What about children who look like the X?
I have a friend who went through a terrible time as a single mum but eventually remarried. Her eldest son looks so much like her ex-partner she finds it very hard sometimes. She once told me that she catches herself out being irrationally harder on him than on her other child because of the resemblance. Because his father left her. Because his father made bad life choices. Because she wants him, essentially, to not be like his father. And he is not. He just looks like his father.
Is this why parents freak out when teenagers rebel by changing their appearance? My mother freaked when I dyed my hair blue, even though nanna had worn the blue rinse for over twenty years. Do we want our children to grow up looking like us and are we upset when they don’t want to? Do we perceive this and is this motivation to change our physical appearance?
I was once involved in a study were 150 women in four states, were approached on the street and asked if they would consent to have their photos taken. Five finalists went onto a commercial product test. We could tell who was recruited by whom immediately.
I have two children. Both of them are boys but there is a general consensus that one of them looks incredibly like me. Not “just like” me. The resemblance goes beyond striking. It’s usually the first thing people comment on, and repeat all the time. Strangers stop us in the street. My other child looks more like me than his father, but there is still a combination there. Say 70-30. Will I inadvertently favour the child who looks more like me?
Evelyn Waugh once said “The pretty can get away with anything…”. So, if we are attracted to people who look more like us, do I precieve the child that looks more like me as more pretty? And if so, will I let him get away with more? And now I have to ask myself if I introduced the similar looking child into the previous paragraph first because he looks more like me, or was it just the flow of the writing? Am I already promoting him over my other child?
And what of children who look like our partners? Do we melt when they assume the same facial expressions? Do we want to please them more? What about children who look like the X?
I have a friend who went through a terrible time as a single mum but eventually remarried. Her eldest son looks so much like her ex-partner she finds it very hard sometimes. She once told me that she catches herself out being irrationally harder on him than on her other child because of the resemblance. Because his father left her. Because his father made bad life choices. Because she wants him, essentially, to not be like his father. And he is not. He just looks like his father.
Is this why parents freak out when teenagers rebel by changing their appearance? My mother freaked when I dyed my hair blue, even though nanna had worn the blue rinse for over twenty years. Do we want our children to grow up looking like us and are we upset when they don’t want to? Do we perceive this and is this motivation to change our physical appearance?
I was once involved in a study were 150 women in four states, were approached on the street and asked if they would consent to have their photos taken. Five finalists went onto a commercial product test. We could tell who was recruited by whom immediately.
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Comment by Cinico
Small Business Scope
Only because they'd bring in more money - working in the cirucs 'freak show'.
(For those who are unsure, that was a joke...hahahaha)
Seriously I've often wondered that, I only have one child so doubt I'll ever truly find out for myself. Naturally I wouldn't like to think that I favour one over the other.
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
What about the child who looks like the milk man?
Comment by Cinico
Small Business Scope